"Some days I Swiffer more than I breathe." ~
Carmen Liberatore (mom of 2)
Thursday I wished I were out running a marathon instead of being at home with my kids. Some days I swear it would be easier to just run nonstop than to be a mom. Motherhood is so overwhelming sometimes, OK, a lot of the times. It's also extremely messy.

So, Thursday is my grocery shopping day. I have been grocery shopping on Thursday morning for as long as I can remember. I work on my list through out the week, and then Thursday morning I finalize my menu over a cup of coffee and make sure my list is complete. I'm slightly anal retentive about it, but it's what works for me.

Last Thursday was no different than previous Thursdays, except 1 thing: Kid Cooperation. My children were plotting against me. As I sat drinking my coffee and trying to come up with new and exciting meals to serve in the upcoming week, the kids were at the kitchen table having breakfast. Olivia was enjoying a bowl of cereal and Z was finishing up his applesauce. The normal table mess was there, it makes me slightly twitchy but I deal with it. Suddenly, Olivia decided to throw her full bowl of cereal onto the floor. Do you know what milk does to hardwood floors? It makes a disgusting film that takes about 26.2 cleanings to fully remove. Following the cereal, she heaves her full sippy cup of milk at my head, while I'm on my hands and knees collecting soaked cheerios, and pleading with the dog to GET THE HELL OUT OF THE KITCHEN LEST YOU MAKE MORE OF A MESS!!!!!

Zachary had jumped ship at this point. He was cozy on the couch watching his cartoons, which is a very safe place to be. I get that mess cleaned up, forgoing actually cleaning, with cleaner, until we returned from grocery shopping. The store was generally the same scenario that it is weekly. Z asking for anything and everything he sees. Olivia taking off her shoes and throwing them in the general direction of the elderly. Me rubbing my temples and throwing out empty threats in my most sweet, public mom voice. Did you know if you throw the word 'sweetie' into a sentence it makes the lazers shooting out of your eyes and the steam billowing from your ears look a lot less scary to nearby shoppers? Just a tip!

We get home, I leave Olivia strapped in her seat in the car (parked in the
garage) so I can easily carry the 90 bags of things inside. Also, so I don't
have to shoo her away from the door and deal with the obstacle of her 17 month old self. On my final trip to the garage I witness Zachary carrying his sister  to the back of the van. (How in the world he got her out of her seat, out of the van and is CARRYING her, is beyond what my brain can handle.) He then proceeds to DUMP HER into the back of the van, head first. Thankfully, I have cat like reflexes and jumped to rescue her before she actually hit the bottom.

I usher everyone inside with promises of sugary drinks and snacks if they
 would just let me pee in peace and get the cold groceries put away. As I am putting away groceries, I told Zachary he needed to go clean up his bedroom. That turned into him wanting to change his sheets RIGHT NOW, NOW, NOW, because apparently he was "tired of the safari ones and wanted orange ones." I told him, "No, we will not be changing sheets at this very moment, continue cleaning your room." Then, I realized I lost Olivia. I'm seriously thinking of installing a bell on that child. Apparently she made her way upstairs during one of the 75 times that Z came down to beg me to change his sheets.

At this point, I am separating turkey ground and have hands full of
 salmonella poisoning. I manage to get them both back downstairs where they proceeded to run around me in the kitchen. After begging and pleading with them to go play in the room FULL OF TOYS. You know the place? It has hundreds of dollars worth of colorful items in it, collecting dust. Apparently I am far more fun unloading groceries and making lunch than the 9 million matchbox cars and kitchen set they own. Finally, I win and they are playing. Serenity.

I get lunch in the oven and decided to get rid of the milk film before the
next round of meals with Gallagher begins. I turn my back for 1 second, just 1, and Olivia has Zachary's full glass of apple juice sloshing all over the floor.  She's soaked, her feet are soaked. The apple juice mixes with the milk film and she has created her very own Double Dare inside of my kitchen. Oh and here comes the dog!!!! So, at this point I need a power washer and a stiff drink to get this mess under control.

Finally, I manage to get lunch on the table, the floor cleaned and kids down
for a nap. All of this took place in 5 hours. In less than 5 hours I could have
managed to run a marathon, but there was no need, because I'm pretty sure I did, and I lost to a 17 month old and a 4 year old.

Picture
Run Hard,
Run Strong,
Run for You,
Holly








~My Cleaning Crew~

stephanie
8/10/2011

Wow! GO RUN! Thanks for the laugh, the advice, the anxiety of what is to come of my 7 month old ;)

Reply
Chrissie
8/10/2011

Oh the joys of grocery shopping with 3!!! You always now how to make me laugh!!

Reply
Chrissie
8/10/2011

sorry *know* not NOW lol

Reply
8/10/2011

YOU CRACK ME UP! I can totally picture this whole day and have had similar experiences!

Reply
Mango
8/10/2011

I will remember to add "sweetie" to my empty threats next time.

Reply
Carrie
8/19/2011

That's the cutest cleaning crew I've ever seen!

Reply



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